The Joy of Cybersex

Ah, the joys of cybersex! Sex in Second Life is even more of a minefield here than it is in RL – the benefit here is that making excuses and leaving is easier, and you don’t have to try to make conversation with them over breakfast..

As I’ve discovered, there are many different ways to ‘enjoy’ sex in SL.. Three weeks ago my head spun with the discovery of a thing called cybering… I’m so out of touch with popular culture that I didn’t even know it existed.. Now I jadedly compare the different types! SL has that effect on people. Although I do draw the line at delving (so to speak) into the furry and child stuff… That’s all too seriously weird..

So, here’s my overview of the mechanisms for sex to be found:

• The funniest one is poseball sex.. Most SL scripts are not particularly well written and so they lack a lot of the finesse required to really be effective – but they are soooo easy! Sit on the ball and then just watch your avatar go through the motions.. Truly energy efficient! I spent a couple of hours trying them out with a willing accomplice and laughed so hard I thought my RL neighbours were going to complain! Had to keep wiping the tears from my eyes.. Good thing I didn’t have to do anything but sit back and laugh.. Some of the positions were eyewatering, and I can honestly say I have never been fisted at all, let alone on a first date – until now! Suppose it serves me right for wondering what the poseballs on the stocks did…

• Next in effort is the Xcite range of genitals.. You or you ‘lover’ get a menu of actions to select.. The script then generates the appropriate text – right down to telling you the reaction and the degree of arousal the recipient is feeling.. I only had a chance to have the most cursory of encounters with these.. but they seem to be favoured by those who don’t have the inclination, knowledge or linguistic ability to cyber properly and are too lacking in imagination to masturbate on their own… For any of you who own the Xcite range, I’m sure you enjoy them and I’m sure that I haven’t spend enough time around them to fully appreciate their charm.. Any offers of furthering my education will be considered – as long as you understand that if I go quiet it’s probably because I’m laughing…. or have dozed off 🙂

• Then comes what has become my now personal favourite – ‘old fashioned’ cybering. Originally I couldn’t see the point. Even now my jaundiced opinion is that for the majority it is just a way of making up for lack of masturbatory imagination, but if you’re luck enough to find a practitioner who truly understands and appreciates the genre, it is unbelievably magical. The cynic in me thinks they must be a poison dwarf in RL, but if they are as good in RL as they are in the ether, they are truly blessed and their partners should be on their knees thanking their deity of choice… and wondering what is so wrong with their relationship that their partner is having sensational virtual sex with strangers…